How to Know Whether to Stay or Go
by Michael S. Broder Ph.D.
If you are seriously debating whether to split up or stay together, Dr. Michael Broder’s clear and logical approach will help guide you through this complicated and difficult life decision.”
—Lonnie Barbach, Ph.D., Co-author of GOING THE DISTANCE: Finding and Keeping Lifelong Love.
A wise and compassionate guide to assessing a faltering love relationship, and answering the fundamental question asked by the book’s title: Can Your Relationship Be Saved? Dr. Broder addresses
This book is for you if:
The book is divided in three parts. Part I Your Relationship focuses on the reader’s relationship as it is now, introducing in user friendly format the self-assessment inventory that’s been used by thousands of psychotherapists, divorce lawyers and lay people. Part II Working Through the Curse of Ambivalence asks readers to evaluate three major aspects of their relationship ambivalence: Staying vs. leaving, What if I leave? and What if I stay? Part III The Aftermath of Ambivalence presents strategies to help readers gain insight into what life may be like (a) if they build a new life together as a couple or (b) elect to leave and thus become single once again. Readers are carefully guided through an examination of each lifestyle; and are offered strategies to maximize happiness– regardless of whether or not the current relationship survives.
The title of this book, Can Your Relationship Be Saved? captures one of the most commonly explored issues that I have dealt with in my office over the past three decades as a practicing clinical psychologist. In addition to being so common a question, it has also been an extraordinarily complex one for scores of individuals and couples who have consulted with me over the years. Hopefully, this book will break it down in a way that you will find empowers you to quickly get beyond the murkiness, and toward a resolution of all the issues involved.
For the purpose of simplicity, I use the term relationship throughout the book to refer to marriages, engagements, living-together and dating arrangements, or any other type of love relationship or romance — long- or short-term, and of any sexual orientation — including those where the partners are separated or divorced, thinking about reconciliation, or trying to justify leaving. I will use the word partner (present or ex) to mean spouse, spouse-equivalent, lover, mate, companion, boyfriend, or girlfriend.
“I encourage therapists to recommend this book to their equivicating clients/patients.”
Arnold A. Lazarus, Ph.D.
“I would strongly recommend that any person who is ambivalent about his or her relationship read this book. Promptly!”
“This superb guide helps real couples solve real problems, and provides them with clear, practical action steps to insure their implementation…”
Janet Wolfe, Ph.D.