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Who Feels Good After The Breakup Of A Marital Or Other Long Term Relationship?

By: Michael S. Broder Ph.D.

In spite of what you may have thought, some people do actually feel good immediately after the breakup of a marital or other long-term relationship.

Some well controlled research confirms that those who have been engaged in extra-martial affairs (what I have referred to in The Art of Staying Together as a prebound relationship which is similar to a rebound relationship, but occurs before the breakup), those who are characterized as having done the leaving rather than being left and those who have clear goals following their breakup are most likely to feel good. In addition, if you’re a man, the better educated you are and the higher your status, the better your chances are to feel good immediately after the breakup. If you’re a woman, however, generally you’re more likely to feel good sooner than you would if you were a man. If you’re a woman with custody, you’re more likely to feel better than your ex-husband, and if you’re not bothered by the guilt induced by religious beliefs you’re likely to feel better. However, these are just the results of some research. Most importantly, if you are in that situation, by addressing the obstacles you are facing one by one, you can work hard to make yourself feel better about your reality, regardless of your circumstances.