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Staying Together For The Children

By: Michael S. Broder Ph.D.

Studies that have measured the self –esteem of children from both divorced and intact homes, have found that self-esteem is higher for children from divorced homes than it is for children in intact, unhappy homes. This research shatters the myth that it is better to keep an otherwise unhappy marriage intact solely for the benefit of the children.

Now no one is arguing that an intact happy home is not the best of all possible worlds; but in examining this issue, whether to have an “intact happy home” is not the question.

If it appears that your marriage can’t be a happy one, you have left no stone unturned in saving a relationship that could provide an atmosphere of warmth and love for both the adults and the children, then before making the final decision, you may need to deal with one last obstacle – the guilt you may be experiencing about the effect your divorce will have on the children.

Once you have come to terms with that guilt, the answer---either way--- will be obvious. The best thing you can provide your children is a happy parent who can be emotionally free to provide them with the maturity and guidance they need.