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Ex-spouse Remarrying

By: Michael S. Broder Ph.D.

No matter how well you’ve gotten over your former relationship, it’s very possible to experience some unexpected feelings of regret when you learn that your former partner has remarried or is going forward in a long term relationship.

Anger, guilt, and loneliness are some of the common reactions to learning that your ex has or will remarry. This may happen regardless of the degree to which you’ve adjusted to your divorce or separation previously.

Your ex’s remarriage represents the final statement that the relationship is over (unless , of course, you share children---then there will probably always be some connection). Don’t beat yourself up for having these feelings, accept them as appropriate sadness. This may be a final stage of mourning, even if the person is someone whom you no longer desire.

If you accept the feelings, they’ll probably pass quickly. But if they don’t, consider that those feelings may provide you with a clue that you own life in not in order.

The grief you are experiencing may be telling you that what you held as an option perhaps without even realizing it, no longer exists. After you accept those final feelings of grief and let them pass, there’s no place to go but forward.